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#3980 English Jokes - zdokonalme si jazyk veselou metodou

Pro psané a kreslené vtipy (případně i vhodná videa) výhradně v angličtině (případně kombinované CZ/ENG). Spam a cokoliv mimo se maže, stejně jako vtipy v češtině, na ty je jiná diskuse.

Karel Hynek Macha - May :) (by Gerbera)

BELEGOST 14.11.2016 15:17:26  
"Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."
MIK 14.08.2015 10:34:18  
Football Arena - Fotbalový online manažer
ANGEL 09.01.2015 20:07:59  
Why do Muslims only drink instant coffee?
'Cause they hate the French press.
BELEGOST 03.01.2015 17:12:56  
A squirrel is living in a pine tree. One day he feels it shaking, looks down, and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel asks: "What are you doing climbing my tree?"
"Well, I'm coming up here to eat some pears," says the elephant.
"You idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears."
"Well I brought my own pears."
HEKKO 08.11.2014 13:31:07  
BELEGOST 08.11.2014 13:29:30: Dík, cítím se poučena. :)
HEKKO 08.11.2014 13:11:33  
M0RT 05.11.2014 22:43:18: Já to nechápu, co mi uniká?
M0RT 05.11.2014 22:43:18  
jeden skutecne anglictinarsky..

MIK 10.10.2014 17:08:18  
xoxoxo ::R

MIK 10.10.2014 11:30:02  
ANGEL 14.07.2014 10:51:26  
I had a wet dream about you last night.
I was drowning you in the lake.
ANGEL 01.07.2014 12:32:36  
Fuck printers
I should name mine Bob Marley
Because its always jammin'
M0RT 25.03.2014 16:41:38  
BELEGOST 20.03.2014 15:30:05  
Q: How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The lightbulb works fine on the system in my office. NOT REPRO.
M0RT 04.02.2014 20:00:06  
SHADDOW 31.01.2014 11:39:14  
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
MIK 16.01.2014 10:13:13  
MIK 01.10.2013 12:50:04  
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